Couples Counseling
Do you feel like you and your partner are always arguing but not solving the issue? When it comes to communication, do you feel like you’re both on “send” and not on “receive”? Do you feel like you’ve lost the intimacy that you once had in your relationship?
I believe that ineffective communication and divisive argument patterns are what stand in the way between couples and the connection they’re looking for. Communication patterns like attacking and withdrawing can weaken trust within the relationship over time. I believe that you and your partner possess the skills to find solutions to your problems, but how you talk - or don’t talk - about the problems is a major factor in overall relationship satisfaction.
Let’s have a conversation to solve the moment you’re in.
On fighting & withdrawing:
“Fighting is the vicious cycle in which each partner feels too unheard to listen, too misunderstood to be understanding, and too stung by what the other just said to do anything other than sting back. Withdrawing is a devitalized exchange in which partners don’t talk about what most concerns them… If fighting or withdrawing is the problem, then intimate talking is the solution.”
- Dan Wile
So how do we solve the moment you’re in?
You and your partner know what solutions will work best in your relationship. Instead of spending time trying to find specific solutions, we’ll work together to change the argumentative style of communication to an intimate, connected conversation by:
Identifying unsolvable problems and deciding what it means for the relationship.
Having recovery conversations after an argument to understand what happened and empathize together over the communication struggle.
Exploring what intimacy looks and feels like for each partner and within the relationship.
Imagining what you want the relationship to look like.
Trying out new language and ways of communicating that lead to partner collaboration.
Learning to name and track the emotions that are under attacking and withdrawing patterns.
Expressing emotions in an effective way that can prompt understanding and change.
Decreasing adversarial communication patterns that turn partners into enemies.