How to Use Systems to Work With Your ADHD, Not Against It: Groceries Edition
In the last blog about systems we learned about how forcing our selves to conform to behaviors that don’t actually work with our ADHD, specifically related to the task of laundry, can be detrimental to our well being. Developing a system that can be used on even our most challenging days can not only increase a sense of accomplishment, but decrease the consistent low level (sometimes high level) of stress that comes with avoiding tasks. In this blog we’ll talk about another task that an feel overwhelming to those with ADHD: grocery shopping.
ADHD is characterized by difficulty with executive functions including: organization and planning, motivation/task initiation, focus and attention, emotional regulation, and memory. Allow me to demonstrate why grocery shopping can be a strain on all of these:
Organization and Planning: Finding a time to go to the grocery store before the cupboards are completely bare requires planning (and throw in attention to even realize that we’re running low on food). Unless we plan ahead and show up with a list of food we need we may just wander the aisles (likely overwhelmed and overstimulated), and end up with random foods that don’t serve to make a meal. We may even struggle with knowing where to put the food once we’re home so that it doesn’t get lost in the ether (out of sight, out of mind).
Motivation/Task Initiation: In order to get anything mentioned in this whole list accomplished, we’re going to need some kind of initiation to start moving. Making a list? Need some initiation to take a peak in the fridge and cabinets to determine what we need. Going to the store? Gonna need some motivation to leave the comfort of the couch. Already did the shopping? What about putting the food away where it belongs? So on and so forth.
Focus and Attention: As aforementioned, even realizing we’re in need of grocery shopping can sneak up on us if our attention isn’t there. Attention and focus are also needed when we are crafting a list or walking up and down the aisles to find certain foods amongst the packed shelves in the grocery store.
Emotional Regulation: Anyone ever get hangry? Certainly couldn’t ever be me….. If our internal needs like hunger are not met because we forgot to go to the grocery store, it’s going to make it even harder for us to regulate our emotions. We may feel extra frustrated with not being able to find certain items, or feel helpless if we can’t even fathom what meals to make when we’re standing in front of a shelf.
Memory: Ever get to the store without a list and realize you can’t remember a single thing you need? Or you get home from the store and realize you forgot to grab the one thing you went for? Or you come home with yet another bottle of ketchup despite getting it last time (and maybe even the time before that) because you completely forgot you had gotten it already? Again, certainly couldn’t ever be me…..
Building a System
Needless to say grocery shopping isn’t as simple as it seems on paper, at least not for our unique ADHD brains. Let’s talk about some options to
streamline this task. Whenever I set out to create a system I look for ways to either cut out or simplify the complicated and numerous aspects involved in the task. I mentioned using a list as a way to stay organized, but feeling like you have to make a list every time can become a barrier. One system is to make a master list one time that you re-use each time you shop. You can even do this on some grocery store websites.
Speaking of the grocery store websites, utilizing their pick up or delivery option can make the actual shopping process feel more to your own pace as you can search for specific items online while close to your kitchen to know what you need.
If financials support it, you can also use a meal delivery service to cover your big meals, and cut out the struggle of organizing meals you need to shop for.
There are many ways to optimize a system for grocery shopping to work with your ADHD, and just as with laundry, one of the first steps is to get rid of the assumption that you have to do it just like “everybody else.” There is no one “right way” to complete this task. It’s probably better to find a way that works for you so that you have food in the house, instead of forcing yourself to do it someone else’s’ way and having an empty fridge. Creating systems from scratch can feel tough. If you want someone to walk through these factors with you, schedule a consultation on my calendar and learn more about starting therapy!
(In-person sessions will now be offered starting in October 2025 in Paoli, PA!)
Tina Caro, LPC, CCATP, ADHD-CCSP
*Please note that this blog is for your information only and does not constitute clinical advice or establish a client-counselor relationship.